Will my life ever be normal, or is it destined to only be filled with nothing but pain and bad memories? Is the world always so cruel? Where do I even belong in such a world; full of people who seem to just pass each other on by? Sad memories are so painful; they fill you up with nothing but despair which only tends to get worse with time; the more and more you think about them.
When the world all around you becomes saturated with sadness, and it is all you can feel; it consumes you down to your very bones. What’s even harder, is when you feel the sadness of all those around you; as if it’s your own. How do you come up, when everything else is so down?
That’s how my life felt at first; it seemed like only the bad sensations: the bad memories, the sadness, and the loneliness all around me was all I could ever feel. My life became consumed by it, and I truly despaired. I sought the loneliness, because it was the only place I felt somewhat normal. When I got close to people, I only felt the worst of what was inside them and it scared me.
I thought my entire life became destined for seclusion. That is until one day, only a few weeks after my sixteenth birthday; a random girl wandered into the abandoned building I now called my home. There was something different about her, and it was easily noticeable long before she even entered the building. Sure I could feel sadness inside her; there was also a strong loneliness, but even stronger than all of those feelings was her optimism. Man was it overpowering, almost unreal. How could someone with such sadness, have an optimistic view of anything? I wondered, as I crept from my bedroom; which wasn’t really a bedroom at all. It was just the only room in the ruin of a building; that actually had four walls, and enough space for a make shift bed.
Sneaking down the stairs and slowly peaking around into the room the intruder was in; I noticed her. She had long blonde hair, which clearly stood out; draping down to the groove of her back. Her back was the only area that I could clearly see, as she had her back to me, and it seemed like she was playing among the rubble. Before even clearly thinking about what to say, I blurted out abruptly.
“It’s dangerous in here, what are you doing over there.. Girl?”
My sudden voice appeared to have startled her, because not a second later she tripped over the rubble and fell sideways; as if she was trying to turn around and slipped. Without as much as a moments thought; instinct had me running over to her. Staring down at her from above; her features became more visible, and so did her clothing. She was a beautiful girl, about the same age as me. She had stunning blue eyes, that seemed almost hypnotizing. She was wearing all black, and it appeared that what she was wearing was originally designed for a guy not a girl; let alone one as pretty as her. Before I realized it, my cheeks were flushing with red and I seemed to almost forget what just happened.
“Umm are you going to stare at me all day, or help me up?”
Her voice was sharp, yet pleasing and she had an air of spunk to her, but for some reason it was comforting.
My cheeks flushed even greater and my hand fell to the back of my head at her words, truly I’d been so stuck in thought it was embarrassing. Offering my hand, I reached out towards her and she grabbed it firmly. Forcefully she pulled my arm, and tugged me down; knocking me over. She laughed playfully and then smiled as she quickly got to her feet.
“Oh come on now, do you fall for all girls so easily?”
Her words caught me off-guard, just as her actions just seconds before. A little dazed still, I slowly stood and brushed myself off. She was a strange one, that was for sure; but her uniqueness was intriguing.
“I’m sorry, I’m not so good around people. I’m not really used to this. My name is Marduk. Can I ask what your name is?”
She tilted her head as if what she heard didn’t make much sense to her. Perhaps she had never met someone who was so accustomed to being alone? With a smile, she turned around and looked away towards the outside; staring through the broken down walls for a second before speaking.
“My name is Michelle..”
Quickly she changed the subject, as if there was something wrong with her name or the memories that came with it. In that moment, her sadness came over strongly, but only briefly, before being replaced with utter happiness.
“So, do you come here often, Marduk?”
She asked, looking around curiously at the deserted building, awe filling her eyes and her emotions.
Do I come here often, I thought? Of course, this is where I was living. For a moment my mind raced on how to answer that question; without stating that the building was in fact my home.
“Yea, I come here everyday. This is one of my favorite places.”
It’s true, the building’s indeed one of my favorite place; it was somewhere that most of the world’s emotions couldn’t overwhelm me. She didn’t need to know it was also the place I called my home.
“So does that mean if I come back here tomorrow, I’ll probably meet you again?”
Michelle turned back towards Marduk with an enormous smile reaching from one cheek to the other. Even though they had only just met; she seemed interested in getting to know more about him.
Shinning in from the rubble of the broken down walls; the sun slowly started to change hues as it slowly descended from the sky. It really was starting to get late; and the sun was already beginning to set for the day.
Marduk preferred being alone; for the most part, but for some reason he didn’t really mind her being there with him. There was something about her that really comforted him; unlike that of anyone else he’d met up until now, and he still couldn’t put his finger on it. Curious to find more about her; he replied with an honest answer.
“I’ll probably be around here, and I’m not hard to find. It was really nice meeting you, Michelle.”
He rubbed the back of his head; somewhat awkwardly as he responded, and returned a small shy smile.
With a sudden and startling clap of her hands, Michelle laughed lightly and nodded her head.
“Then it’s settled; I’ll be back tomorrow. It’s getting late and I need to get home. It was nice meeting you as well, Marduk. You better be here tomorrow! You’re not getting away so easily.”
With that said, she turned around and darted out of the building without another word, or without waiting for a response.
Marduk wondered what she meant by. “Not getting away so easily.” Was she used to people running off on her? Or did she have some idea that he was a reclusive kind of person, and preferred being alone. He shrugged his shoulders; when he approached the conclusion that he had no idea what she was thinking, and he sighed lightly.
“Well that was an interesting experience.”
Little did he know; that experience was just the beginning for the two of them, and that Michelle would change his world forever.