Never give up!

The world is sometimes cruel and it can hurt you in ways you may never be able to recover from. However, despite how bad things might look you can never give up on what you truly believe in or you may never know what you are capable of. Some of us don’t even realize what we really have deep down inside of us, sleeping dormant . Push on forward; even if seems like the world is against you and your every step gets heavier, your every breath gets harder, and your heart feels like it wants to explode out of your very chest.

‘We only have one life to live, so make our one life worthy of a billion lives, or make a billion lives worthy of our one.‘ ~vladimirsbach

My life is not the glorious dream that I speak of to others, but maybe my true purpose in life is not glory or honor; but the happiness of bringing it to others. 

For over a year now I’ve been out of a job, because of seizures, due to unknown reasons. These seizures are usually accompanied by various side effects, varying from minor annoyances to rather serious. Side effects such as: dizziness, vertigo, fatigue, headache, tremors, heart palpitations, confusion, memory loss, vision loss, aches/pains, as well as some strange smells/sensations that can’t really be described.

The doctors have taken tests upon tests and still have not found out what is wrong with me, but they have continued to prescribe various seizure meds to prevent further seizures.

Every time I had a seizure I couldn’t drive or work on machines for 90 more days, resetting my cycle on my driver’s license, etc. I was also denied for disability twice, because apparently my condition is not being serious enough for the state, although I can not work. In my condition I can barely walk down the stairs of my house, without feeling like I am about to die, with my heart beating a million miles an hour. Standing up, gets me flushed at times, my heartbeat raising over thirty beats instantly and I get very dizzy and faint.

Despite this and the fact that I had no income for over the past year, I kept roleplay social running because I loved the members and wanted to give them something even if it costed me.